The Story: Ladies and their Lords.
A mentality has gone viral for thousands of years about women being under men’s lordship. This is a norm that should be condemned and rebuked. Everyone should at least have capacity to be independent or to a higher extend, dependable. Most households and families don’t grow financially because of dependency and laziness.
The laziness comes as a result of slavery and lordship. Most women have made themselves slaves to their husbands. I don’t mean that they are oppressed in their houses, but have not made a step to venture into the world of riches. They don’t go-get!!! They are waiting to be given than to go find it by themselves.
Things given come with prices. No price is easy to pay, or paid happily. Also say easy came, easy go. Being given, or being provided as a wife by a husband is healthy. It even strengthens the love bond. It catalyzes the chemistry of a man and a woman in a house.
But financially this is unhealthy! One day he may not find and you will be asked to wait. But how many times will you be told to wait? How many times will you accept to wait? How many times will you quarrel over waiting for empty promises? How many? Tell me how many? Ladies are organically impatient over personal needs. Impatient, I mean easily stressful. A sense of hopelessness. This is a situation or a state that no man or woman would wish to be found in. It all comes by choice. If you decide to sit at home and depend on that man. That boyfriend, you are only turning him into your lord. Somebody you bow to, somebody you beg to. You decide to stagnate your life because of dependence on somebody else. You depend on someone’s capacity wake up and create your own working office.
I don’t advocate for widowhood. God forbid! I had a lady in my neighborhood back in the village. She was loved so much by her husband till she was not even allowed to fetch water from the river side.
Water could be brought at the doorstep by bodaboda or even local boys who knew how to operate wheelbarrows and carts. When she meant to do washing, uncountable 20ltrs Jeri cans would flood at her door. She would be called all names describing her hard work and cleanliness.
She would be praised of offering employment to local boys bringing water for her. This did not mean to locals that her husband was rich or he was a civil servant. He was just a welder in Bungoma town, commuting to and fro, daily, except on Sundays, by bicycle! He loved her so much he did everything for her. The lady did not know Simiyu, a famous shopkeeper at our local market, Watoya. The young husband brought with him shopping, everything from town on a bicycle. They lived a very happy life with their three children, a son and two daughters. The lady was nice to the neighbors for she would not bargain on fruits and snacks that would be brought to her. She knew not the prices of commodities on the market. I used to be told stories by my mother who sold her bananas every Tuesday and Saturday and “managu” simultaneously on the same days, about her kindness. She was no harm to mankind. She was rich. She was peaceful. She was a money spender not a money maker! To my point, her stories from my mother were not an advantage to her but a fail.
She spent all her time being under somebody’s capacity. She did not take life in her hands. She could not win bread. She was taught to be lazy by her husband who did not want to engage her with work. He did not teach her to handle responsibilities. The husband taught her how to fail in life at an expense of love. He was her lord and she worshiped him. She served him.
It was until one very early morning, by 5:00am,when the lover man faced death only one kilometer from his home. Of a road accident. He was knocked down by a transit goods track; on his way to town for his hustle. That was the end line of his life, and a beginning of new frustrations in his wife’s life. With a load of three kids, she went through coil and toil. She waited month before she found how to create her capacity. Life to her was a class of many lessons. She had to learn new trick to survive. Before she adapted to the situation several men “lords” came to her asking to help. In the end they themselves were helped after sheltering under her blankets and dumping her. As a widow she got it rough. She decided to adapt very fast and create her capacity. She managed to collect a few cents till she established a welding company and became a boss of her life again. Now with more experience.
Many find themselves in such traps. A lot of successful women have gone through pain. They have toiled in writing, directing and producing
their own scripts of life. Get up and create your capacity. Lords will leave you in a very difficult situation. Some may make a way out, some you may not. It is best of you to start as early as now, creating your capacity for your life is well in your own hands.
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